It was wedding season at the Lodge, the staff all looked their best.
The Head Waiter is in a tie, his staff in neat black vest.
The room was strewn with flower wreaths, adorned with festive lights,
and as we watched the bride approach, she was a gorgeous sight,
But little did she know what had happened over night…
The day before a wedding is frantic to behold.
The staff run round like headless chooks and do just as they're told.
Chef is in the kitchen, chopping, poaching chicken breast.
To make the couple’s marriage feast better than his best.
In hopes that the important guests will all be most impressed.
The Lodge is decorated, the drinks on ice are cold,
And here arrives the wedding cake, a wonder to behold.
A triple layered fruit cake, iced in frosty white
To be adorned with fresh blooms in tomorrows morning light
So leave it on the bench top, it will be fine over night.
The morning of the wedding, I check details in the room
I walk around the table inspecting knife and fork and spoon
I go to move the wedding cake to a table for the cutting
A glance, a groan, a cry escapes, a piece of cake is missing!
And don't tell me that’s a bottom print where a possum has been sitting!
Calls are made the staff are rallied, how can we fix the cake?
There is no time to start again, to mix and chop and bake
The wedding will be on soon, in just a few small hours
The bride’s mother soon to bring the big bouquet of flowers
She wont be happy about this mess, as the fault at best is ours.
A call to a cake decorator, she says she’ll have a go
Bring it forthwith and she will do her best to save the show
She cuts out the chewed portion and fills it with some icing
She smooths out the big “bum” print and then repairs the piping
I gingerly transport it back with slow and steady driving.
The wedding goes without a hitch, a romantic celebration.
And after vows and rings are swapped, a feast and a libation.
We toast the gorgeous bride, and her very handsome male.
I need to make confession to the woman in the veil.
I steal myself, approach the group and tell them all the tale.
They roar with laughter, toast us all and tell us not to worry.
They wont be rushing off to tell Sixty Minutes in a hurry.
Such a memorable wedding, and a wonderful country stay
The birds, the bush, the possums in the rafters all at play
and what a tale that they will tell their future kids one day!
o o o
(The other moral of this story goes on for quite a bit
When eating dinner in the Lodge be careful where you sit
When possums play above your head and you have had a tipple
When you’ve ordered minestrone, with an olive oil drizzle
Diners please beware, don't ever drink the soup with ripples!)
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